?

Log in

Previous Entry | Next Entry

How to Fail at Merengues.

Fail to Google a good recipe.

Double the recipe you don't have. Vaguely recollect that it had cocoa.

Beat the egg whites long enough to annoy everyone around you.

Add Splenda.

Add hot chocolate. It' s just like cocoa, right?

Beat mixture.

Beat mixture.

Beat it until the people around you want to throttle the life out of  you.

Realize that something's wrong. Add more egg whites.

Beat it until you receive verbal and physical threats.

Realize that the milk protein contained in the hot chocolate likely reacts with egg protein making the light and fluffy whipped texture of a normal merengue impossible to achieve.

Emote about one's failure at a baker to all who will actually listen to you (who aren't completely ignoring you due to the noise of the beaters or quietly plotting their revenge).

Have a brilliant (NO) idea.

Make an Oreo pie crust.

Top with eggy hot chocolatey mixture.

Bake until you forget about it. In fact, go skidooing and leave the baking in the hands of the aforementioned people who aren't talking to you.

Sample.

Realize the taste is like a hot chocolate omelette on a salty cookie.

Eat the pie crust. Discard the rest.

FML. Will find a recipe next time.